'Surrender'- one of my favorite english words. For me it sounds like spell, soft, rolling, loving, good -natured.
Translated literally, it means to give up, put themselves, capitulate and disclose. I felt the mix of these meanings when I started this painting from a state of 80% exhaustion. When I recognized, what wanted to go to the canvas, I was briefly tried to steer or influence this expression, an inner regulator spoke up and criticized whether that would be the art I had announced to bring into the world?
The best thoughts and intentions can run into poison as soon as they become rigid rules or dogmas. The space then becomes a vacuum. I know that very well, because I have often observed this tendency to myself. Allow is therefore another of my magic words. I allow myself to allow myself ... that sounds like coming home. The words feel like ointment on wounds. They are the acceptance of everything I feel in me and the deliberately wanted to step out in the unknown at the same time. An important aspect of being an artist is for me that I can afford everything. It is an exercise for me to be me and take the risk of being rejected.
I allowed myself to paint what was in me. I have allowed myself not to judge prematurely, but to stay with it. I followed the joy of the shapes and colors. I fell in love with the exhaustion of this figure and the native beauty. I have not planned that so much strength will come to light. I surrendered.
